Number 1:  The word "Bush" will become the new four letter word on January 22, 2009. Instead of people saying "fuck you," people will say "Bush you." 

Number 2:  Britney Spears will be spotted in public twice in '09 wearing underwear.  However, she will deny that claim until the proof shows up in a YouTube video.

Number 3:  O.J. Simpson will be charged, once again, for kidnapping and robbery in Nevada.  This time the charges will result from O. J. storming another jail inmates cell and demanding that this inmate give back to him personal items this inmate was trying to cell on e-bay.  Items include one of the gloves involved in his 1st murder trial.  Along with the beeny hat Johnny Crockrin wore during OJ's murder trial.

Number 4:  Barack Obama, after winning the presidential election in November, will fill his Cabinet with members from the '60s radical group "The Weathermen."

Number 5:  The NFL will ask Barack Obama's former Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr to perform 10 minutes before Bruce Springsteen performs his show during 2009 Super-Bowl half-time show.

Number 6:  Product endorser Billy Mays will become the most trusted man in America.  Support groups will ask that our government will replace "In God We Trust" to "In Billy We Trust" on the back of all currency.

Number 7:  Michael Jackson will launch in 2009 a line of clothing that he hopes will supplement his income since only two people have purchased his CD's in the last year.  The first article of clothing will be courtroom pajamas.  His collection of pajamas will be called "MJ's PJ's"  Courts will be forced to placed dress restrictions on anybody entering the courts wearing pajamas.  A problem will arise when courts realize that judges are coming to work dressed in MJ's PJ's.